My time at home these days
So I've been at home now the last few weeks, since the EarthLink SJ office closed at the end of October -- though I'm not officially laid off until December 21. I haven't been talking about badgerbag's health situation, I guess since it seems kind of personal to her, but I realize I can't really talk about what's going on with me without covering that.

Liz has owned a wheelchair since I've known her, but it has been for uncommon times when she wasn't feeling well. Her problems walking had been attributed to fibromyalgia, combined with some old hip and knee problems. However, she took a turn for the worse in March. She would often need a cane, and had to use the wheelchair for any long walks. It was slowly getting better, until at the end of October when she got nerve conduction electric shock tests to help diagnose. Then things suddenly got much worse. She had to use the wheelchair all the time, and suddenly there have been a lot of doctor visits including a new neurologist, three MRIs of different parts, and some rehab and physical therapy.

There's no diagnosis yet, but candidates include Hereditary Spastic Paraplegia (HSP), Primary Lateral Sclerosis (PLS), or an uncommon type of Multiple Sclerosis (MS). PLS and MS don't have known causes -- they're really just names for collections of symptoms shown. It doesn't seem to be sharply degenerative, but it's also not something that's going to be cured. At best, it will be very slow in progress and the symptoms can be lessened with treatment.

So I'm adjusting to this. We made a bunch of changes around the house -- including a new deck outside our door with a ramp, and new french doors that go out onto our patio with the hot tub (with mini-ramp). The big thing to deal with is that it's a lot harder to go out to places.

Liz wonders how I'm going to process this, which I find hard to answer. I have supportive friends, but mostly processing changes is very personal for me. I don't like therapy or support groups, and to some degree the explicit psychological talk that goes with them.

It's not like my choices are all that hard. I'm starting my new job in January, and working to improve our house to adapt. Until my new job, I'm going to spend a lot of time with Liz and Milo, and take some time for myself as well. I am making an effort to relax more. I've been watching a lot more movies and reading books. I'm not writing all that much, partly because I don't have a good workspace. My laptop kind of sucks at this point, and the wireless on it is terrible, and I don't have a nice desk, though I have set up a stand with keyboard and mouse on the kitchen table.

Once upon a time, I had thought that my time off before the new job would be a good time for my projects. However, reflecting on this, I think relaxing and hanging out for once would be just fine. I've basically never really had time off since college. I went straight from college to grad school, from grad school to my post-doc, from post-doc to Excite@Home, and from Excite@Home to EarthLink. So I figure it should be fine for me to have no big plans.